Pay attention to life...

To many life goes by blindly, and no-one really pays attention to their lives and what is happening to them. And perhaps this has been my fault in life, a kind of hyper-awareness to the fact that I am living life, and that there are lessons that we need to learn and without an awereness of this, one can be doomed to repeat their mistakes.

This blog, is dedicated to the woman who made who I am. When I was growing up I had a seriously antagonistic relationship with my mother…and let me be honest with my siblings as well. A more angst-filled child never existed, I remember hours spent hiding in the closet, sucking on my fingers contemplating life and what it meant. My earliest memory is of me walking around my family’s seat in Waterval in the Northwest, feeling completely abandoned, so heartbroken and alone. It is a very dark memory that haunts me to this day. I must have been around four or five years old, and I just have no idea why I would have felt that way. Church was a deeply felt event, where the lyrics to the hymns moved me to ecstasy, and every year I wondered why humanity was the way it was and they acted they way they did, and why we just felt so helpless about being human and allowed ourselves to be so evil towards each other and do the horrible things that we did.

It was the hours I spent alone contemplating who I was and what I had done that solidified this aspect of my personality, hours that I have my mother Seipati. H. Mothoagae to thank for. It was her who after a spate of deep naughtiness would banish me to my room to go and think about what I had done, and whether that served me.

This blog is dedicated to these musings, and what I have learned about life, love and spirituality. If you wonder about the same, and are as given to introspection as I am, then this should prove interesting for you. If you are interested in the musings and the viewpoints of other, no matter how strange, than this is the blog for you. This is about what I think, what I have come to accept as true of life, the world, humanity and spirituality.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

When to ask why...

It's been an interesting few years, where I have faced many challenges. Challenges that make pursuing a dream seem impossible. It is important to have a vision for your life, and to seek to understand your life purpose. Without that understanding life can seem impossible and not worth living.

I've come to understand through many life events, that sometimes it is important to ask why. But, not just ask why is this happening to me, but to ask why should it happen the way it is happening.

We often cry, and seethe and fume at a turn of life events. And I guess I have been blessed with the ability to stand outside my own life and it's events and look at them objectively, through the eyes of spirit. Why are you seething, and shouting, and blaming life? God and "his" infinite wisdom understands why. Rather ask why is God saying no. Why would God say no when you feel you deserve something, some blessing? God would say no if it's not the right time. And often because if you are in line with your truth, and your aim is for the greater good, you are with the wrong people, and attempting something through the wrong channels.

So... Rather ask - what is the aim with this project or relationship or job that I am pursuing? And why is God saying no to this project or relationship or job, with these people, at this time? That is the most important question. Why is God saying no?

You may have no idea what you have been saved from until much later. But, trust me, you are being saved from something. So, keep at it, and seek other ways, because perhaps the channel you are pursuing this dream through is not the one that can provide you with what you actually need to grow in spirit, mind and heart.

Faith sometimes means allowing the process of life to protect you, and allowing it to bring only good things to you. And whatever it is that is making you so sad, or so angry, may not bring you good things. So, be thankful for the no - it may just save your dreams.
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