Pay attention to life...

To many life goes by blindly, and no-one really pays attention to their lives and what is happening to them. And perhaps this has been my fault in life, a kind of hyper-awareness to the fact that I am living life, and that there are lessons that we need to learn and without an awereness of this, one can be doomed to repeat their mistakes.

This blog, is dedicated to the woman who made who I am. When I was growing up I had a seriously antagonistic relationship with my mother…and let me be honest with my siblings as well. A more angst-filled child never existed, I remember hours spent hiding in the closet, sucking on my fingers contemplating life and what it meant. My earliest memory is of me walking around my family’s seat in Waterval in the Northwest, feeling completely abandoned, so heartbroken and alone. It is a very dark memory that haunts me to this day. I must have been around four or five years old, and I just have no idea why I would have felt that way. Church was a deeply felt event, where the lyrics to the hymns moved me to ecstasy, and every year I wondered why humanity was the way it was and they acted they way they did, and why we just felt so helpless about being human and allowed ourselves to be so evil towards each other and do the horrible things that we did.

It was the hours I spent alone contemplating who I was and what I had done that solidified this aspect of my personality, hours that I have my mother Seipati. H. Mothoagae to thank for. It was her who after a spate of deep naughtiness would banish me to my room to go and think about what I had done, and whether that served me.

This blog is dedicated to these musings, and what I have learned about life, love and spirituality. If you wonder about the same, and are as given to introspection as I am, then this should prove interesting for you. If you are interested in the musings and the viewpoints of other, no matter how strange, than this is the blog for you. This is about what I think, what I have come to accept as true of life, the world, humanity and spirituality.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

You are not like the other children

You are not like the other children.
Enjoy and revel in your victories and achievements, because God has chosen to bless you in this way.
You can't allow other's envy of who you are make you regret your achievements and blessings.
We are blessed in different ways, to do different things.
So, why are you so worried that you are blessed and others not?
It's your time to be blessed.
You do deserve it, because you are you, and you are not like the other children.
Let them find their way and their time.
Now is your time.
Enjoy it.
Be humble as you revel in it.

Why are you doing it?

There's been a lot of why's in my life these days. Like, a lot!

I've recently decided to start posting again on this blog and on social media. It's interesting for me to start posting the things that I have learned, the thoughts that I think are profound, because of how I see myself in the world. I always think - someone will say it... someone will do it... this is important and of course someone will say it.... of course someone will ensure it gets done. And you know what, surprisingly for me - no-one does. And I do search for those who say and do these things that I think are vital for our progress as human beings to becoming who we really are.

A friend of mine that I loved and still love, accused me of being selfish with myself. My sisters also told me that I am selfish to think that I can just exit in my little corner, and to think that I won't be missed. I guess it's part and parcel of working in the harsh industry that I work in, where you are constantly told you are replaceable. But, you know what? You are not replaceable. Don't let them tell you you are because you are not replaceable. God has gifted you with the heart he has, the soul he has, and the eyes he has so that you can bring and shine that special light of who you are into the world. Yes, of course they can find someone else to do the job, of course they can. But, they will never find another you.

I keep wondering why I am posting all these things I am posting. Because I have the habit of sermonising - lol! I do tend to try to build with all that I say and do, be a builder, be a lover, and be the change that I want to see. And you know, people post the most amazing things on social media. Things that at your darkest or lowest, you come across and you feel reassured, and blessed, and hopeful again, because somehow what they have posted speaks to the core of your being and your situations.

I have started posting again, and I cannot help but wonder why I suddenly feel the need to start this discourse again. Because, sometimes your own personal journey allows you such deep and profound realisation that they change how you view the world. I have had to many of those recently. And to tell the truth, I do not choose to be selfish about them anymore.

I am choosing to share, with the hope that whoever reads these posts will be deeply comforted. Because the truths of life are not meant to be whispered in the darkness, they are meant to be screamed from the mountain tops so that whomsoever has ears can hear and be moved.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

When to ask why...

It's been an interesting few years, where I have faced many challenges. Challenges that make pursuing a dream seem impossible. It is important to have a vision for your life, and to seek to understand your life purpose. Without that understanding life can seem impossible and not worth living.

I've come to understand through many life events, that sometimes it is important to ask why. But, not just ask why is this happening to me, but to ask why should it happen the way it is happening.

We often cry, and seethe and fume at a turn of life events. And I guess I have been blessed with the ability to stand outside my own life and it's events and look at them objectively, through the eyes of spirit. Why are you seething, and shouting, and blaming life? God and "his" infinite wisdom understands why. Rather ask why is God saying no. Why would God say no when you feel you deserve something, some blessing? God would say no if it's not the right time. And often because if you are in line with your truth, and your aim is for the greater good, you are with the wrong people, and attempting something through the wrong channels.

So... Rather ask - what is the aim with this project or relationship or job that I am pursuing? And why is God saying no to this project or relationship or job, with these people, at this time? That is the most important question. Why is God saying no?

You may have no idea what you have been saved from until much later. But, trust me, you are being saved from something. So, keep at it, and seek other ways, because perhaps the channel you are pursuing this dream through is not the one that can provide you with what you actually need to grow in spirit, mind and heart.

Faith sometimes means allowing the process of life to protect you, and allowing it to bring only good things to you. And whatever it is that is making you so sad, or so angry, may not bring you good things. So, be thankful for the no - it may just save your dreams.